Are you a “Scanner?” I first read “Refuse to Choose” by Barbara Sher (not an affiliate link) I was incredibly relieved.  I had always thought something was wrong with me because I had so many interests, and I would be completely enthralled with one thing for awhile and then give it up in a moment and jump into something else.  Society (not to mention family) seemed to disapprove of this behavior, and it always had me wishing I only loved one thing so I could define my future.

As it turns out, I’m not “ADD” as many people liked to call it.  I’m totally normal.  In other moments in history, these personality types were not considered “lost souls” who couldn’t make up their minds.  They were called

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Why People Don’t Like You

Life Coach in Notting HillI get a lot of clients who are successful in most areas of their lives, but seem to be stuck in the social part, or the relationship part.  I’m often asked what to do to find that significant other, to have more friends, or to better connect with business partners or employees.

There are a lot of reasons why you have attracted the people who are in your life into your life.  There are meanings you have put on what a relationship is about and what friendship is.  There are things you may be re-creating from your past that you are “benefitting” from in your current relationships.  Keep in mind that a benefit

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Ten Ways to Communicate Better

We all want to help those people in our lives who are important to us, especially when they are in distress.  Sometimes when we try to help, however, it seems like we make things worse.  Our good intentions sometimes seem to be “thanked” with defensiveness and aggression.  Here are some things to pay attention to in order to truly create solutions and avoid conflict:

1.       Did they ask for advice?   When someone is troubled, sometimes they just want to vent.  Giving advice when someone just wants to talk is a message that you are

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Great Expectations

This is not a blog post about being positive. Nor is it about how negative thinking is ruining your life. It’s actually about nothing and its benefits. Confused yet?

Humans generally do not like walking into the unknown, so in regards to the future, we are constantly filling in information where it is lacking. We run through different scenarios of potential outcomes, or expectations.

Let’s start with the positive. If someone always has positive expectations, there’s a good chance that many outcomes will fall short. The distance between a positive expectation and a real outcome is

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Body for Rent if you bought a car that you knew had to last for the next 70  years?  Would you take care of it differently?  Would you keep it clean?   Would you buy regular or premium gasoline?

Your body is just that–it’s a long-term lease on a vehicle that takes  you, the person, around in the world.  Making this distinction is one  very effective method to help you do the things you know you should be  doing like eating right and exercising.  (FYI, this simple shift in thinking helped me to lose 2 pounds per month for about 3 years)

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Consumer Debt and Being Over Weight…Same Thing?

consumer debt overeatingAre you great at budgeting, but overeat?  Are you great at eating healthy, but carrying around loads of debt?  It’s time to make a switch and bring your success in one area to take care of the other.

Extra weight and credit card debt are symptoms of the same thought process.  How do you feel when you look at your body in the mirror?  Think of the extra fat as caloric debt.  How do you feel when you sit down to budget?  Think of your debt as financial blubber.  If one of those gives you a knot in your stomach, thinking your goals are unachievable, keep reading.

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Are You “Wearing” Your Victimhood? you ever met someone for the first time and they tell you about a  tragedy they had suffered in the first few minutes of conversation?   Chances are, you felt pretty uncomfortable.  But you still said the  nicest, most soothing words you could think of even though you hardly  know the person.

When someone is stuck in a victim way of thinking,  they are constantly looking for people to agree with them or to give  them sympathy.

Here’s a hard piece of truth:  we all act like victims.   When we

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38 Lessons in 38 Years

In honor of my birthday today, I wanted to share my life’s biggest shifts in perception. Each of these could most certainly be its own post (and perhaps will be in the future!) or perhaps even an entire book.

  1. You are not your thoughts. If you were, you couldn’t observe them.
  2. What you ask is infinitely more powerful than what you say.
  3. Everyone does his/her best. All the time. No exceptions.
  4. Responsibility and blame are two very different things.
  5. Your fantasies about how people should be will hurt you. Kill the fantasies.
  6. Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook—it’s about letting yourself out of your own cage.
  7. It’s impossible to “get even.” Stop keeping score.
  8. Giving and receiving are equally divine. Anyone who tells you otherwise wants something from you. Let go of your guilt and be a good receiver.
  9. Acceptance is about peace in your life, not resigning yourself to negativity.
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