Why Positive Affirmations are Mostly Useless (and When They Can Work!)

“Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.” You’ve probably come across this phrase. Coined by Émile Coué, a French psychologist, this famous self-help mantra dates all the way back to the 1980s.

It’s not really surprising that positive affirmations have a long history; people have struggled with self-esteem issues and negative thinking throughout the ages. Positive affirmations have been prescribed by everyone, from therapists and coaches to self-help gurus, to counteract pessimism and negative thinking patterns.

But do positive affirmations actually work? Not really, as it turns out. They’re about as effective a strategy as telling a depressed person to “Just look on the bright side.” It doesn’t work.

But why is this the case?

Why Positive Affirmations Don’t Work

Let’s say you believe that you’re “not enough” – a common conviction affecting many people who struggle with confidence and self-esteem issues. Such a belief is so deeply ingrained into your subconscious that simply chanting “I am enough” every morning won’t cut it. In fact, it will set off an inner war within your subconscious and may cause more harm than good.

Saturday Night Live’s Stuart Smalley (played by Al Franken) was a therapist who looked himself in the mirror to tell himself he’s good enough. (Photo credit NBC.com/Wikipedia)

See, psychology research suggests that positive affirmations may benefit certain people if they already have high self-esteem and are sure of themselves but tend to backfire for those who need it most. Why? If you have high self-esteem and self-worth, positive self-statements reinforce what you know to be true about yourself.

However, if you’re anxious, depressed, struggle with body dysmorphia, or just unsure of yourself, these statements result in an inner struggle. And this can be extremely detrimental to your mental health. You cannot affirm what is incongruent with your beliefs. In the end, the negative belief becomes stronger, and your desired state of mind fails to manifest.

The reason positive self-statements don’t work is because they target the conscious level of your mind. Think of it this way: with each positive affirmation, your unconscious mind cringes pretty much the same way you do when given a compliment you know not to be true. Instead, what you need to do is rewire the subconscious mind.

Unfortunately, there are no “magic words” that can change your life. Even if you feel empowered in the moment, it’s only a matter of time until the negative thoughts show up again.

How to Unlearn Negative Self-talk

When a negative belief is deeply rooted in your unconscious mind, it can override even the most positive of affirmations. So, how do you move past these blocks?

The first step is to alter the thought patterns that no longer serve you. And you can’t do this by overwhelming your subconscious with positivity. Instead, go neutral before you go positive. There’s a lot of power in accepting things as they are. For declarative self-statements to work, they need to be scripted with total honesty.

Instead of: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.”

Try: “I have good days and I have bad days. And today, I’m doing okay.”

This way, these statements aren’t empty self-praise but honest assessments that respect the self.

Another great strategy is to question the subconscious. Questions are powerful because they probe for answers. Replace declarative self-talk, whether negative or positive, with interrogative self-talk. Asking yourself, “Why am I having such a good day?” will probe the subconscious to find an answer. For instance, maybe you took a walk in the morning sun that lit up your mood and your day.

Unlike positive affirmations, interrogative self-talk doesn’t conflict or exhaust the unconscious mind. Rather they awaken it to the reality of the matter. Because most times, negative beliefs are just that. Beliefs. They’re not true. You could be the most beautiful person in the world and not see it.

Question your subconscious and silence your inner critic.

When Positive Affirmations Can Actually Work in Your Favor

There is one known case, according to the research,​ in which telling yourself positive things can help you to have lasting change versus a short-term fix of pumping you up.

BJ Fogg is the Founder an Director of Stanford University’s Behavior Design Lab, and one of the elements of habit change that has been cited over 20,000 times in peer-reviewed journals is a concept he calls “Shine” that involves a small celebration when you complete a tiny habit that you aspire to become a much bigger habit.

A summary of this concept is in this video below around 5:10 (but the entire video is definitely worth watching!).