What Is Emotional Intelligence?

The concept of emotional intelligence was popularized in 1995. While at the time it was merely a theory or concept, now people are incorporating this idea in their personal and professional lives. This is because the emotionally intelligent individual can develop wisdom and strength to deal with every type of conflict and problem. 

Emotional Intelligence Defined

We can define emotional intelligence as the ability to understand, manage, and use your emotions. Sometimes, emotional intelligence is also called EQ (or EI) for short. Having emotional intelligence means that you are aware that your emotions can impact other people and drive behavior (both negatively and positively). When you have emotional intelligence, you will know how to manage the emotions of others as well as your own. 

Managing emotions can be beneficial for several reasons. Once you’ve developed a certain level of EI, you are less likely to get hurt by others’ behavior through misunderstanding, and you are attuned to situations that reduce the likelihood of your hurting others.

Developing more Emotional Intelligence can help you when you’re stressed or under a deadline.

Emotional intelligence can help you tremendously when you are stressed or under pressure. Here are some situations where it can help:

• Meeting tight deadlines
• Experiencing change and uncertainty
• Receiving and giving feedback
• Working through failures and setbacks
• Dealing with complex, strained, and challenging relationships
• Not having enough resources

On top of that, emotional intelligence can also impact:

• Productivity at work
• Mental health
• Physical health
• Social intelligence
• Personal and professional relationships

How You Can Develop Emotional Intelligence

Do you want to excel in your work by avoiding negative feedback from your client? Perhaps you want tools to deal with your narcissist boss? Do you want to build better relationships? 

Developing Emotional intelligence can help you deal with everyday problems and give you the strength and mindset to overcome challenging situations. So, whether you want to improve your personal or work life, building more emotional intelligence is an ideal option for you. 

Possessing Emotional intelligence is not something you were born with. However, you can learn to develop it over time if you set the intention. Here are some ways you can start your journey of developing emotional intelligence. 

Respond While Avoiding Conflict

No matter how much you are feeling the urge to punch your boss or neighbor in the face, you obviously need to hold yourself back. During conflict, feelings of anger and emotional frustration are common. However, emotionally intelligent individuals know that staying calm and composed is important in these situations. 

So, if you find yourself in that state, try to avoid making any impulsive decisions. If you feel that your emotion is uncontrollable, take a break and tell the person you need a few minutes, or you’ll get back to them later. It’s better to give yourself some buffer time and respond in a manner that’s constructive rather than saying something you’ll regret.

Make sure to look for solutions that can also calm the other person. It is better to focus on understanding the reason for the behavior and actions of the other person. This way, you can find a better solution. 

Observe Your Behavior

To become emotionally intelligent, you must know your typical response to common things. For instance, think about whether you rush to judgments before considering all the facts. Do you believe in several stereotypes without evaluating whether they are wrong or right?

You need to look honestly at yourself to know how you react to people. When you know your behavior, perspective, and beliefs, you can easily identify what you have to change. Improving yourself shows that you are on the right track. 

Acknowledge and Appreciate Your Emotions

Emotionally intelligent people also consider their own emotions and respect them. Keep in mind that your emotions are never wrong, and they often support you in different circumstances. So, it is important to be honest with yourself and think about how you feel. When you feel an emotion, name it – you’ll feel less anxious and more in control.

People who can validate their own emotions can easily and effectively validate the feelings of others. Moreover, gaining more awareness of your emotional state will help you have empathy for the perspective of others. 

Get Curious About Your Feelings

You need to get curious about the message your feelings are conveying to you. Understanding your emotions helps you consider your current emotional response and resolve the problem that is affecting you. 

Bottom Line

Gaining a higher level of emotional intelligence can change and improve your way of looking at everything around you–your family, friends, work, relationships and community. Becoming emotionally intelligent can help you live a more content and peaceful life. 

p.s. – Do you feel you are sometimes reacting instead of responding to situations in your life?  Book a free session with me and we’ll see if we’re a fit for working together.