The Difference Between Envy and Jealousy

Envy and jealousy are two negative emotions that most humans feel at some point in their lives. Although the words are quite common in our daily vocabulary, many people remain unaware of their real meanings. Some do not even understand the difference between the two words. 

Many people use the terms interchangeably to describe their emotions or the suspected emotions of another human being. Whether you realize the difference between envy and jealousy, the two emotions are very distinct from one another.

Read on if you wish to learn how envy and jealousy are different emotions. We will also discuss how these prevail in and outside relationships, causing damage. 

The similarities between Envy and Jealousy

The loser is expressing envy, not jealousy.

Before we move on to learning the differences between envy and jealousy, let’s see what makes people use the words interchangeably. For starters, both envy and jealousy are characterized as covetous feelings. This means that these emotions offer feelings of wanting or holding on to something. 

Besides being negative covetous feelings, envy and jealousy can also drive anxiety and stress about worrying about not achieving or losing a certain thing. These feelings may also lead to intense decisions and actions to fulfill one’s desire to have something.

Both envy and jealousy can drive angst, especially in stressful times of uncertainty like the ongoing pandemic. Understanding how these emotions work can be helpful in understanding and addressing the root cause of your angst and anxiety of not being able to achieve or hold on to something. 

What is the Difference between Envy and Jealousy?

Although it is a common belief, envy and jealousy are not synonyms. Simply put, envy is more about wanting to have something another person has. For example, you might feel envious when your friend gets a promotion. If you feel wishing about somehow stealing what they have, you are experiencing envy.

On the other hand, jealousy has to do with wanting to hold on to something you already have. Often, it arises from the fear of losing something that you truly love possessing. 

The classic Old Testament story of Cain and Abel depicts a violent act rooted in jealousy.

For example, you might feel jealous when your manager at work starts preferring your new co-worker for assignments he would previously give to you. Your jealousy in this situation comes from worrying about your job being in jeopardy. 

It is important yet extremely difficult to unravel the feelings of envy and jealousy. Nevertheless, you can identify these emotions by unpleasant feelings towards an acquaintance when they become a candidate for something you would rather like for yourself.

According to neurologists, it is the way our brains are wired that inspires feelings of envy and jealousy in our relationships. The Amygdala connects with areas of the brain to establish our values and motivations. 

While it is important to understand other emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness, it is quite hard to find where envy and jealousy originate in the brain. Nonetheless, our environment also largely affects our inspiration for these complex emotions.

Envy and Jealousy in Relationships

Envy and jealousy can significantly impact the emotional bonds and relationships in our lives. So, it is important to learn more about these feelings whether you feel jealous of your co-worker or a loved one.

Some cultures have beliefs or superstitions that a red ribbon will protect you from the envy of others.

Envy describes a response to wanting something that someone else already has. Meanwhile, jealousy refers to the fearful emotional reaction of worrying that someone might take away what you believe is yours. 

Both feelings of envy and jealousy can occur within a relationship. For instance, you might envy your partner’s relationship with their family, or you might be envious of your sibling’s academic success. 

However, jealousy is more common in romantic relationships where you feel insecure about your partner’s interactions outside of the relationship. Sometimes, these emotions indicate bigger problems like lack of trust, post-traumatic experiences, and experiences with unfaithfulness and disloyalty.

Initially, jealousy is the natural reaction of trying to protect something that is yours from potential threats. However, feelings of envy and jealousy can be easy and quick to get out of control, causing damage. 

Bottom Line

Feelings of envy and jealousy rise from deep desires to possessing a certain thing. If you already have the thing and fear losing it, you are likely to experience jealousy when you sense a threat. On the other hand, you might feel envious when another person has something you wish to have. 

Whether envy or jealousy, both emotions can cause lasting damage to professional and personal relationships. Therefore, it is important to address them in time.

p.s. – Not feeling in control of your envy or jealousy, schedule a free no-obligation appointment directly in my calendar here. I look forward to our conversation!