“I never think of the future-it comes soon enough.”
— Albert Einstein
There are two types of time travel that we do every day–it can be exhausting, but learning to be more present can have you live a fuller life.
The Past
When we react strongly to an argument or what someone said or did (or didn’t do), we are usually bringing baggage from our past into the present moment. The words that were used were perhaps the same critical words we heard from a parent or other kids on the playground growing up. Or perhaps we perceived that that’s what they meant. Of course, we can’t know for sure.
And if you can’t know, then there’s no need to react. (Yes, this is easier said than done – I recommend doing “The Work” with Byron Katie to help undo reactions).
The question goes like this: “Am I reacting to what they said, or am I reacting to what I thought they meant?” See the difference? How often has someone been offended by something that they thought you meant, but you did not intend? Chances are, they’re bringing their past into the present. And it’s exhausting. It’s a huge amount of emotional energy.
The Future
The other type of time travel is into the future. Anxiety. Worry. Anxiety is simply an emotional reaction to various scenarios that haven’t happened (and probably never will). Is that type emotional energy wisely invested? Doesn’t sound like it.
The funny thing is, if you actually go there, if you really put yourself in the worst case scenario and ask yourself what you’d do, you can deal with it. You’ve dealt with difficult things before and you’re still alive.
The Present
Whether you practice mindfulness meditation, a sport that helps you to focus, or breathing exercises and yoga, anything that can help you to be more present and experience the depth of the present moment will have you living a more fulfilled life. Look around and take things in.
Start a gratitude journal and list the things you are glad you have in your life–not just the people and physical items, but your own inner resources and talents. Lean to practice self-compassion.
In the past there are only lessons. The future is only a directional tool to see where we’re going.
Stay present. Breathe.
Paul Strobl, MBA, CPC
Owner of Confide Coaching, LLC
Paul is a Master Life Coach for GenX and GenY executives and business owners. Originally from Houston, Texas, he has been location independent for most of his adult life. He currently resides in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria near the Greek border with his brilliant wife, 13-year-old stepson (officially adopted in 2021!) and a Posavac Hound rescue.