Do you know what you stand for? Knowing your personal core values can guide your decisions and provide you some much-needed inner peace.
Think of your core values as a map for life. They can help you navigate the many difficulties you’re bound to encounter along the way and bring a sense of purpose and self-worth. Your values determine how you want to live your life.
But like everything else that requires soul searching, figuring out your personal core values is no easy task. Also, your values determine how you live and work, and even though you know them deep down, it’s important to define them and give them life. Moreover, they’re the measure you will use to determine whether you’re living a meaningful, purposeful life.
So, who are you at your core? Here’s a guide to help you discover and clarify your core values.
Defining Your Personal Core Values
Firstly, what is a “core value” anyway? It’s one of those sneaky hard-to-answer questions.
Your values are the standards that guide your actions and behaviors. They are the principles that give your life meaning. And what about “core” values? Well, core values are the subset of values that you prioritize above all others. Moreover, in a world full of both uncertainty and opportunity in equal measure, your core values are your only real safety net.
Defining the ideals most meaningful to you is a challenging task. That said, it’s one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do. Also, the difficulty of the task only magnifies its importance.
Here are 4 steps to creating meaningful core values that will serve you in every area of your life.
1. Decide what you stand for
Your life is a record of your values. It’s essential to look back at the defining moments of your life and evaluate your actions, decisions, and behaviors. Whether you realize it or not, your values influence your decisions, both big and small.
Here are some questions that can help you uncover your personal core values.
- What have been the “best” moments of your life? And what were you doing, and who were you with?
- What are you most proud of?
- Also, what frustrates you? What makes you angry?
- Who are your role models?
- What do you love? What can’t you live without?
Once you’ve answered these questions, determine why the people, things, and experiences you thought of are truly important and memorable.
2. Determine your top values
Firstly, when you’re happy and joyful, what you value is being honored at the moment. Secondly, the opposite is true when you’re angry or upset. Additionally, the answers to the questions above will guide you on what you hold dear. For instance, if you value helping others, then community, philanthropy, and generosity are some of your values.
The human experience is wide and infinite, but here’s a *list of the most common values that guide behavior :
- Achievement
- Autonomy
- Belonging
- Community
- Curiosity
- Empathy
- Excellence
- Exploration
- Family
- Financial prosperity
- Flexibility
- Freedom
- Friends
- Generosity
- Gratitude
- Health
- Humility
- Humor
- Independence
- Love
- Loyalty
- Making a difference
- Originality
- Peace
- Privacy
- Relationships
- Responsibility
- Self-Reliance
- Spirituality
- Sustainability
- Well-being
*While this is not an exhaustive list, it can help you create a list of values that resonate with you.
Real World Example
“People often ask me how I knew that leaving my marriage and moving to a new continent were the right things for me to do. The only reason it was clear to me to take those actions was because I was clear on my core values. The next steps were obvious — the only puzzle to work out was ‘how’.”
– Paul Strobl, Master Life Coach
3. Determine your top personal core values
Once you have a list of values written down, group all similar values. There is no formula here; the idea is to highlight the central theme underlying your values. For instance, values such as appreciation, gratitude, thoughtfulness, and generosity can fall under the umbrella term of mindfulness.
Now comes the hardest part – determining your top core values. In addition, your core values are the subset values that form the guiding principle of your life. The questions below can help whittle your list down :
- What values are essential to your life?
- If you could satisfy only one of these, which would you choose?
- What values resonate with your inner being?
- And what values represent who you want to be?
The number of core values differ from one person to the next. Too few, and you won’t capture all the unique dimensions of your inner self. Too many, and they’ll lose their meaning.
4. Reaffirm your values
It’s important to check in with your core values and make sure they fit with your life and the vision you have for yourself.
Revisit your values once in a while.
- How do they make you feel?
- Are they consistent with who you are?
- Are you proud of your top three values?
- Would you be comfortable sharing your values with people you admire?
Remember, your values can change as you evolve as a person. You can always change them when they no longer resonate like they used to.
Know Your Values, Know Yourself
Identifying and understanding your core values is a challenging and important exercise. However, your values are the rudders of your ship; they determine the direction in which you take your life. When you clarify your personal core values, then you can become who you were meant to be.
Now live your core values and give your life a sense of purpose and direction!
A discussion about core values with Kristen Hadeed, Founder of Student Maid and author of Permission to Screw Up. The full conversation can be found here.
p.s. – Want to get clarity on your personal core values? Book an appointment and let’s see if we’re a fit for working together.
Paul Strobl, MBA, CPC
Owner of Confide Coaching, LLC
Paul is a Master Life Coach for GenX and GenY executives and business owners. Originally from Houston, Texas, he has been location independent for most of his adult life. He currently resides in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria near the Greek border with his brilliant wife, 13-year-old stepson (officially adopted in 2021!) and a Posavac Hound rescue.
