Ever had some deep-rooted limiting beliefs about yourself? Nearly everyone does. It’s the old story you keep telling yourself about who you are and how everything always pans out.
“I’m not smart enough.”
“I will never be able to do that.”
“I’m not worthy of love.”
“I’ll never find a job that brings me happiness.”
These are some common limiting beliefs people constantly tell themselves that significantly limit their development, both personally and professionally. Limiting beliefs always seem to have some degree of catastrophe attached to them. They’re built on your assumption of what you can’t achieve or what always happens to you or doesn’t.
Like most people, you think these convictions are both logical and impartial. After all, they’re a result of years of experience and objective analysis of your life story. But that’s not really the case. In reality, everyone is perceptible to confirmation bias.
Your beliefs are so deeply entrenched that your brain is wired to look for information that upholds them while filtering out information that challenges them. As a result, your mind keeps from taking actions that would counter these beliefs.
Overcoming Your Limiting Beliefs
Your thoughts, if you think them over and over, become beliefs which, in turn, become the cognitive lens through which you view and interpret the world. As mentioned, your mind is constantly sifting your environment for evidence matching your beliefs, which is how your thoughts shape your reality.
There’s a common misconception that positive affirmations and pumped up self-talk will override limiting beliefs and change your life. The problem is: your mind is wired to reject anything that doesn’t align with what it holds to be true. While there’s nothing wrong with affirmations and being optimistic, constant positivity can turn toxic to your well-being when it denies, minimizes, or invalidates your emotions.
Positive thinking is conscious; it operates only on the surface level and does nothing to contend with the subconscious mind where your limiting beliefs reside. As such, it only works in the short term.
With this in mind, here’s how you can break the self-defeating cycle of limiting beliefs and rewrite your narrative.
Real World Example
“I always felt like I carried some heavy burden that other people didn’t have. It was like they moved without effort while I carried this heavy load into an academic exam with me. Or other people could just speak up in a meeting, but this tightness in my throat didn’t let me speak. Once I learned how to release this load, everything, and I mean everything, is lighter. I speak up in meetings now with confidence and without much concern about how I’m viewed by others.”
– Jack R., Marketing Director
1. Ask Yourself, “What If I’m Wrong?”
Limiting beliefs start to lose their power when you begin to question them. If you think you’re not pretty enough, barraging yourself with thoughts of “I’m beautiful” or “I’m enough” can end up making you feel worse about yourself. The key is to question why you hold such beliefs about yourself.
Adopt the ability to sit back, observe your thoughts and simply question your own beliefs. This way, your mind will start looking for evidence that counters such beliefs.
2. Remember, You’re the Author of Your Life Story
You’ll be surprised by how many people are simply onlookers in their own lives. They’re constantly reacting to the things that happen that they forget they’re in control. Find the point where your story diverges from reality. Think of all the experiences that have shaped you and cause you to perpetuate your story.
It’s in these moments of self-reflection that you can alter the narrative and change the script.
3. Leave Your Old Story Behind
All the self-reflection in the world won’t matter if you’re not willing to let go of the baggage that’s weighing you down. People tend to hold onto limiting beliefs for the same reasons – to protect themselves from struggle and failure.
Admittedly, your limiting beliefs don’t just keep you in your comfort zone. They also make you feel special in some way because you’re attributing your life to factors outside your control (the very essence of victimhood thinking). Consider this: beliefs only stick if they serve you in some way.
What are you getting out of it? What role do you get to play by keeping it?
Remove A Limiting Belief In 20 Minutes
One of the best ways to counter and eliminate your limiting beliefs is the Lefkoe Method. Developed by Morty Lefkoe through the study of many techniques in the areas of philosophy, psychology and counseling, the Lefkoe process assumes that the source of your behavior and feelings is the beliefs you hold about yourself as opposed to anything in reality.
First, you’ll start by identifying a limiting belief and its source. Most beliefs are rooted in childhood and early adulthood experiences and are almost always a reasonable explanation for the events that happened. Looking back at the source can help you come up with different explanations for these events.
What underlies this principle is that events have no inherent meaning. All meaning is in our minds, and your beliefs are simply the meaning you assign to events. Challenging your beliefs begins by challenging your interpretations of these events.
When you recognize that something you’ve held as a belief is only one of several alternative meanings of what actually transpired, then your limiting beliefs lose their power and start to dissipate.
Coaching Tip from Paul
If you’re having a hard time identifying a belief, think of those moments in your life where there is a heavy feeling in your stomach, chest or throat.
What are those situations? In most cases, there is a belief driving that heavy feeling.
Try the Lefkoe Method for Free
The best part is that you can try the Lefkoe Method for free. It’s fairly easy and takes about 20 mins to eliminate one limiting belief. Challenging your beliefs is how you rewrite your narrative and change your life.
p.s. – Ever feel like you’re not good enough or you’re not important? Book a free trial session and lets see if we can’t drop the heavy stuff so you can start living the life you want.
Paul Strobl, MBA, CPC
Owner of Confide Coaching, LLC
Paul is a Master Life Coach for GenX and GenY executives and business owners. Originally from Houston, Texas, he has been location independent for most of his adult life. He currently resides in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria near the Greek border with his brilliant wife, 13-year-old stepson (officially adopted in 2021!) and a Posavac Hound rescue.
