Lose Weight Without Discipline

No matter how much time and effort I spend writing blog posts about self development and shifting your thinking, the question I keep getting over and over again is “How did you lose all of that weight?” So here it is….

Where I Was…

Let me start by describing to you the mindset and habits I had years ago that caused me to gain it all:

• I didn’t eat breakfast, just coffee
• I was more concerned about feeling full when I sat down to eat
• When I was stressed out or upset, I used food to soothe myself
• I obsessed about food–-thought about it all day long
• I didn’t chew very much and was frequently the first one to finish eating
• I didn’t pay attention to my emotion or self-talk in regards to eating
• I would say things like “why sacrifice? life is too short” or “who wants to count calories all day long?”

“I was obese at age 31 with pre-hypertension.”

Add all of this to working in excess of 70 hours per week, giving me the perfect excuse not to exercise, and I was topping 240 (110 kgs) in no time. At a height of 5’8″ (173 cm), I was obese at age 31 with pre-hypertension.

The Wake-up Call

My brother’s passing in 2005 made me re-think how I wanted to live the rest of my life.

The thing that finally changed my thinking was a death in my family, the worst experience of my life.

My advice to you is that you make the changes you want in your life now, and don’t wait until somebody close to you passes away. I began to question everything, not just what I was shoving down my throat.

Make the Decision to Lose Weight

So the first thing that started the ball rolling was a simple decision that I want to live a better life, that I deserve a better life, and I was willing to do the work to get there.

Once I made that decision, it was time to unblock myself from those habits and negative thoughts that were in my way.

See that? I succeeded because I recognized it was mental, not physical.

Now, when I say it’s mental, most people nod and say, “Yeah, it’s all about discipline.” Not really. Let me explain.

When you have an achievable goal, something you really want, the only thing that can get in your way is your thinking. If you force yourself through a regimen, sacrifice and suffer all along, you might reach your goal, but the pay-off will never be worth it, and there’s a good chance that you will go back to your old habits*.

Find and Undo the Unhelpful Thought Patterns

However, if you undo those negative thought patterns and address the emotional issues that are in the way, there is no suffering, and you start to lose weight. You are not sacrificing anything, because you have let go of the perceived obstacles and undone the negative self-talk. When you take away the obstacles and you see your goal as inevitable, your inspiration carries you. You don’t need discipline.

Weight Loss Book Recommendations

If you want to go deep on the latest in nutrition and health, check out Mark Hyman’s latest books and podcast.

I also did something I do not recommend. I read about fifty books on nutrition and diet. After all of that work, I found two books that give you all you need based on the latest* research (as of 2011-see updates below!) and even explains your body’s processes so that the recommendations make sense to just about anyone.

The first one is YOU: On a Diet, by Doctors Oz and Roizen. Yeah, that’s right, the one guy from Oprah who also now has the Dr. Oz Show. The other is Ultrametabolism by Dr. Mark Hyman.

If you’re serious about getting into the best shape of your life, pick up these books*. If, later on, you decide you want to get in crazy elite shape, skip the typical gym and check out your local CrossFit. (see updates below!)

Small, Permanent Changes to Lose Weight

The key to what I was doing was making small, permanent changes for the rest of my life. If I couldn’t do it for the rest of my life, I didn’t make the change. No sacrifice. My breakfast is now huge, and I never skip it. I eat at least 2 snacks per day. I use 9-inch plates. I drink my coffee black or with milk, no sugar.

The After Photo

We have daily habits as a family of exercise and proper nutrition. Your environment helps!

I’m not consistent on which day of the week I exercise, but I make sure I always get 3 days of cardio and at least 2 days of strength and/or sprint workouts. Push-ups are one of my best friends, and yoga keeps me injury-free.

I lost about 2 pounds per month for 3 years for a total of 75 pounds. In the few years since then, I continue to lose fat and gain muscle, and hover between 165 and 170 pounds (75 and 78 kg). That’s a good idea, by the way–give yourself a weight range, like a boxing class of sorts, rather than a fixed number. 

Now that the habits are in place, and the negative self-talk is gone (for the most part), there’s nothing in the way of my continuing these habits. It just happens, like showering, getting dressed or brushing my teeth.

My blood pressure is now normal, on the low end. I get my 4 servings of fruit per day. I get my blood work done regularly (typically on or near my birthday–a present to myself). I don’t feel like I need a perfect body. I feel good, I feel healthy, and that’s enough.

What is the story you are telling yourself that’s preventing you from weight loss and having your best body?

When you look in the mirror, what goes through your mind?

2020 Updates on Weight Loss and Healthy Living

• Dr. Oz seems to have gone off the deep end, and while I love what Dr. Mark Hyman has done to push forward to philosophy of Functional Medicine, he is really pushing a lot of supplements these days… *sigh*
• Lots of great research on Intermitted Fasting has proved to be very effective.  I now institute this method periodically.
• I’ve found CrossFit to be relatively dangerous, so please be careful and focus on your form! There are plenty of great functional exercises like Tabata and HIIT, and you can even find some great stuff on Youtube in case things are closed for COVID-19.