u003cdiv class=u0022jwLWP _2hXa7 _2Dym_ blog-post-text-font blog-post-text-coloru0022 data-block=u0022trueu0022 data-editor=u00222dd2tu0022 data-offset-key=u00224mn58-0-0u0022u003enu003cdiv class=u0022public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltru0022 data-offset-key=u00224mn58-0-0u0022u003enu003ch2u003eHypothetical Situationu003c/h2u003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eA lack of psychological flexibility can cause the bulk of your stress in life. Imagine the following scenario:u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eYou are excelling at your job and on the verge of a big promotion. Suddenly, a worldwide pandemic forces you to work from home (I’m sure nobody can relate to this situation, right?). u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eYour mind starts racing. How will I be able to perform? I’m so good at reading people and connecting face-to-face. My written communication is nowhere near where it needs to be and I’m going to have to rely on it.u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eYou fast-forward in your mind to your next annual review, the look of disgust on your boss’ face and her tone of voice telling you you’re getting put on an action plan, or worse, she hands you a severance package! u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eYou work hard over the next couple of months, but u003cstrongu003eyou’re absolutely certain that you’ll fall shortu003c/strongu003e on your performance, that people don’t understand your emails, and you’re going to have to figure out how your family will survive for a while on only one income.u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eThen your review day comesu002du002dthe day you’ve been dreading. Your hands are sweating and your heart is beating up through your throat. u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eYou brace for the worst. Your boss is absolutely delighted with how you’ve handled yourself, and you get the promotion! u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu0026nbsp;u003c/pu003enu003ch2u003eWhat Happened?u003c/h2u003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eThe fact is while difficulties create useful experience, we sometimes misinterpret the true threat of life’s curveballs. Our alarm system goes off, and we end up feeling stressed or anxious, which, when left unattended, could evolve into a form of mental illness.u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e[1]u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003ePsychological flexibility is the key goal of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). It encourages people to find acceptance for their feelings and thoughts instead of fighting or feeling guilty about them. u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003ePsychological flexibility is the u003cstrongu003eability to go through difficult situations by appropriately respondingu003c/strongu003e to our feelings and thoughts, which leads us to taking action in line with our core values.u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eBeing psychologically flexible helps you recognize when your approach to solving a problem needs reevaluation instead of just following the status quo or your personal default. Psychologically flexible people can learn, unlearn and shift their perspective more fluidly between the present and future. u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eIn my many years of coaching people from all walks of life, I’ve found psychological flexibility to be a key determinant to attaining success (and perhaps even a prerequisite for working with a coach!). Our innate response to disappointments has a significant impact on our overall quality of life.u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu0026nbsp;u003c/pu003enu003ch2u003eHow to Develop Psychological Flexibilityu003c/h2u003enu003cpu003eu003cbu003eBe unafraid of troubling emotions:u003c/bu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e By u003ca href=u0022https://confidecoaching.com/the-work-of-byron-katie-a-path-to-acceptance/u0022 target=u0022_blanku0022 rel=u0022noopeneru0022u003eacceptingu003c/au003e your thoughts and emotions without labeling them positive or negative, you avoid being trapped in reflexive, automatic behavioral patterns. According to Steven Hayes, “we hurt where we care, and we care where we hurt. These two pivots, these two ‘turning towards,’ are the same thing. u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eWhen you stand with yourself even when it’s hard, you are doing a loving thing for yourself.”u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e[2]u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e Learning to be less reactive to every thought that pops into your head is sometimes enough to give you peace of mind.u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cbu003eStep outside your thoughts:u003c/bu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e Because our thoughts, feelings, and emotions do not always adequately reflect long-term value, u003cstrongu003ewe often trust our emotions and act on impulseu003c/strongu003e, sometimes to our detriment. u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eWhile it is difficult for most people to think clearly in tough situations, psychological flexibility trains your consciousness to detach from the present and to engage or persist in behavior that serves valued ends.u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e[3]u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003ePsychological flexibility isn’t just about avoiding or counterbalancing psychological or mental dysfunctions; it’s about developing positive psychological skills that help you thrive in life.u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cbu003eFocus on the present:u003c/bu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e According to Dr. Russ Harris, a psychotherapist and consultant to the World Health Organization, “bringing full awareness to your here-and-now experience, with openness, interest, and receptiveness; focusing on, and engaging fully in whatever you are doing” as opposed to being trapped in negative and anxious thoughts about the past or future will make a huge difference in how you experience life.u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cbu003eAvoid being rigid:u003c/bu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e Learn to experiment with change. Without flexibility, life is guaranteed to be a pain. Remember that policies can change, people can adapt. Don’t conform to a pattern, especially when it feels uncomfortable. As Bruce Lee said, “Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless – like water.u0022u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu0026nbsp;u003c/pu003enu003c/divu003enu003c/divu003e
u003cdiv class=u0022jwLWP _2hXa7 _2Dym_ blog-post-text-font blog-post-text-coloru0022 data-block=u0022trueu0022 data-editor=u00222dd2tu0022 data-offset-key=u00224mn58-0-0u0022u003enu003cdiv class=u0022public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltru0022 data-offset-key=u00224mn58-0-0u0022u003enu003ch2u003e u003c/h2u003enu003ch2u003eBenefits of Psychological Flexibilityu003c/h2u003enu003culu003enu003cliu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003ePromotes healthy behavioral changesu003c/spanu003eu003c/liu003enu003cliu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eMakes you more u003cstrongu003eproactive instead of reactiveu003c/strongu003eu003c/spanu003eu003c/liu003enu003cliu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eBuilds resilience u003c/spanu003eu003c/liu003enu003cliu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eHelps you cope better in difficult situationsu003c/spanu003eu003c/liu003enu003cliu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eImproves relationships by being mindful of emotion and moodu003c/spanu003eu003c/liu003enu003cliu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e u003c/spanu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eKeeps you striving toward goals despite setbacksu003c/spanu003eu003c/liu003enu003c/ulu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eUltimately, psychological flexibility is about developing the fortitude to effectively manage whatever comes your way and remain relatively unfazed even when stepping out of your comfort zone.u003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cemu003ep.s. - Do you want to live more in line with who you are? Book a u003ca href=u0022https://confidecoaching.satoriapp.com/booku0022 target=u0022_blanku0022 rel=u0022noopener noreferreru0022u003efree trial sessionu003c/au003e and we'll see if we're a fit for working together.u003c/emu003eu003c/pu003enu003c/divu003enu003c/divu003e
Paul Strobl, MBA, CPC
Owner of Confide Coaching, LLC
u003cp class=u0022font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]u0022u003eu003cemu003ePaul Strobl is a u003ca href=u0022https://confidecoaching.com/u0022u003ePersonal Coach for Founders and Executivesu003c/au003e navigating the space between what they've built and what comes next. Native Texan. Ten years in Argentina. Now based in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria with his wife, adopted son, and a rescued Posavac Hound.u003c/emu003eu003c/pu003enu003cp class=u0022font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]u0022u003eu003cemu003eAn Anthropology degree sparked a lifelong fascination with why people do what they do. A Thunderbird MBA and twenty years of private coaching later — he works one-on-one, by phone, with a small number of clients worldwide.u003c/emu003eu003c/pu003e
u003ch5u003eu003cstrongu003eSourcesu003c/strongu003eu003c/h5u003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e[1]u003c/spanu003e u003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eYang, L., Zhao, Y., Wang, Y., Liu, L., Zhang, X., Li, B., u0026amp; Cui, R. (2015). The Effects of Psychological Stress on Depression. u003c/spanu003eu003ciu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eCurrent Neuropharmacologyu003c/spanu003eu003c/iu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e, u003c/spanu003eu003ciu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e13u003c/spanu003eu003c/iu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e(4), 494–504.u003c/spanu003eu003ca href=u0022https://doi.org/10.2174/1570159x1304150831150507u0022u003e u003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003ehttps://doi.org/10.2174/1570159x1304150831150507u003c/spanu003eu003c/au003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e[2]u003c/spanu003e u003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eSteven, H. [TEDx Talks]. (2016, February 23). u003c/spanu003eu003ciu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003ePsychological flexibility: How love turns pain into purposeu003c/spanu003eu003c/iu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e [Video]. YouTube.u003c/spanu003eu003ca href=u0022https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o79_gmO5ppgu0022u003e u003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003ehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o79_gmO5ppgu003c/spanu003eu003c/au003eu003c/pu003enu003cpu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e[3]u003c/spanu003e u003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eSteven, H. (2006). u003c/spanu003eu003ciu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003eThe Six Core Processes of ACTu003c/spanu003eu003c/iu003eu003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003e. Association for Contextual Behavioral Science.u003c/spanu003e u003cspan style=u0022font-weight: 400;u0022u003ehttps://contextualscience.org/the_six_core_processes_of_actu003c/spanu003eu003c/pu003e