Setting effective boundaries in your relationships can help make them much stronger and healthier. Healthy boundaries refer to placing limits that can help protect your overall well-being. If you don’t know where to begin, this post will cover types of boundaries in healthy relationships and a few tips to get you started.
It is important to set healthy boundaries and communicate them with your friends and family if you healthily plan on bonding. Not to mention, you must also clearly communicate the consequences of breaching your boundaries. This will make it easy for the other person to understand why you set certain boundaries and what you expect of them.
Boundaries ensure that your spouse, family members, or friends respect your privacy and follow through on what you need from them. Setting proper limits are the only way to make relationships more fulfilling and stronger.
Types of Healthy Boundaries to Set in Personal Relationships
There are 5 types of boundaries that people should consider for personal relationships. Some may apply to your relationships with your parents and siblings, while others only apply to friendships and romantic relationships.
Identify what works for you and how you can imply a certain boundary type to the range of relationships in your life.
1. Physical Space
Setting healthy boundaries isn’t just about what isn’t acceptable, but also communicated what is okay.
Drawing physical lines means setting healthy boundaries surrounding your personal space, privacy, and body. For instance, some people enjoy a display of affection in public, while others can find it uncomfortable.
If your partner kisses you in a public space, and you don’t enjoy it, it is important to let them know. Sure, doing so can be difficult, but it can do wonders for improving your relationship. Make sure you set healthy boundaries that make you feel respected.
2. Emotional Boundaries
When setting healthy boundaries in your relationships, considering your emotions is extremely important. However, you can only set correct emotional boundaries when you understand your feeling and emotions.
For example, you will need to set boundaries when you start sharing the negative feelings of another person. Notice when you feel upset, guilty, or undervalued and bring up the situation or issue.
Setting healthy emotional boundaries also means communicating what kind of emotional support you need from your friends/partner/family members in certain situations.
3. Sexual Limits and Consent
We are all very different about what you like and don’t like in the bedroom. Communicating is key.
Sexual boundaries revolve around physical intimacy from your romantic or sexual partner(s). Such healthy boundaries include what is okay for you and what isn’t. Make sure to set and communicate sexual boundaries regarding:
- Sexual comments
- Frequency of sexual interactions
- Unwanted sexual touching
- Involvement in your sex life
- Sexual activities that you like and don’t prefer
You and your partner will likely enjoy a better romantic and sexual relationship when your boundaries include consent and agreement. Not to mention, understanding each others’ sexual desires and limits can significantly improve your sex life.
4. Intellectual Boundaries
Your best friend’s ideas and beliefs about a certain topic may differ from yours. This can lead to arguments and, even worse, fights. It usually occurs when one party starts talking down on the other and treating them as if they’re not smart enough. This damages the emotional intimacy, breaking the bond.
Therefore, it is important to set the right limits in order to respect the other person’s opinion even if you disagree. Doing so will not just prevent feeling upset and hurt, but it will also make room for healthy discussions.
5. Financial Partitioning
A healthy relationship has clearly defined financial rules and planning.
As the term suggests, financial boundaries refer to healthy boundaries around your money. This type of boundary especially applies to spouses as both parties may be contributing to household expenses.
You can set a tactical game plan with your partner around separate or joint bank accounts, savings, monthly purchases, etc. A mutual agreement will ensure that the finances don’t cause any strain on your relationship.
Simple and Easy Ways to Communicate What’s Okay
If you’re still wondering how you can enforce healthy borders around your relationships, here are 3 simple tips.
Start Small and Early
If setting boundaries in personal relationships is new to you, starting with small and simple steps is best. For example, it is best to define physical boundaries regarding hugging before moving on to sexual boundaries. It is always better to start at the beginning of your relationship to avoid arguments and prevent getting hurt.
Communicate Clearly and Effectively
Merely setting boundaries is not enough; you must also learn to communicate them clearly and effectively. Make sure you highlight the problem and discuss what you need and why.
Be clear not only about what is not acceptable, but what is acceptable. This distinction is key – most people, when beginning to set boundaries, communicate what is not acceptable, but the other person needs examples of what is acceptable in order to know where the line is.
Be Consistent
The third step of setting healthy boundaries in personal relationships is to enforce them throughout. Once you have communicated what you expect, do not hesitate to bring it up when the other party breaches the confines of what you have communicated is not okay.
Bottom Line
Healthy boundaries in personal relationships play a big role in how content you feel emotionally and mentally. Not to mention, setting and communicating rules of engagement will also make your relationships stronger and healthier.
You are likely to feel much more respected and valued as you do the same for your friends and family.
p.s. – Need a bit of guidance to set healthy boundaries? Book a time in my calendar and we’ll see if we’re a fit for working together.
Paul Strobl, MBA, CPC
Owner of Confide Coaching, LLC
Paul is a Master Life Coach for individuals, executives and business owners. Originally from Houston, Texas, he has been location independent for most of his adult life. He currently resides in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria near the Greek border with his brilliant wife, 13-year-old stepson (officially adopted in 2021!) and a Posavac Hound rescue.
