In today’s fast-paced, outcome-driven society, we often find ourselves measuring success through tangible, external achievements—be it promotions, financial gains, or the applause of our peers.
And while seeking outside validation is a normal evolutionary behavior, the satisfaction with our success is deeply personal and cannot be measured by conventional metrics alone.
This is why so many outwardly successful people feel unhappy despite the fact that they have achieved the status and money they desire.
Success is not just about the destination—the achievement; it’s profoundly about the journey—the experiences, the growth, and the values we uphold along the way.
Each of us has unique aspirations, challenges, and paths to walk. When we measure success using personalized, non-traditional metrics, we align closer with what genuinely matters to us as individuals.
This shift from traditional results to personal achievement offers a more holistic view of success, one that fosters genuine satisfaction and well-being.
Why make this shift?
Because when we measure our progress by our own standards rather than by comparison to others, we create space for meaningful self-reflection and continuous growth.
This approach encourages us to live with integrity, pursue our passions, and develop a sense of fulfillment that external achievements alone cannot provide.
Let’s explore how redefining success on our terms not only enhances our personal development but also enriches our professional lives, making us more resilient, creative, and, ultimately, successful by our own meaningful definition.
Rethinking Traditional Success Metrics
In reevaluating the way we measure success, it’s essential to understand the limitations of traditional metrics. Typically, these metrics include job titles, salary levels, accolades, or quantifiable results in professional and academic settings.
While these indicators can offer some insights into achievements, they often do not tell the whole story of an individual’s capabilities, efforts, or journey.
Limitations of Traditional Metrics
Traditional success metrics are generally straightforward and universally recognized. This simplicity, however, can also be a limitation.
For one, these metrics tend to emphasize the end result without acknowledging the process or challenges involved.
For example, a promotion might reflect high performance or simply tenure, overlooking whether the journey involved innovation, ethical dilemmas, or personal sacrifice.
Moreover, traditional metrics are externally driven. They rely heavily on societal norms and external validations, which can lead to a misalignment with one’s personal values and intrinsic motivations.
When success is defined by external standards, individuals may pursue paths that do not fulfill them personally or professionally, leading to dissatisfaction despite achieving “success.”
Psychological Impact and Value Misalignment
The pursuit of these conventional success markers can have profound psychological impacts.
The pressure to conform to societal definitions of success can lead to stress, anxiety, and a phenomenon known as ‘imposter syndrome,’ where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a fraud.
Over time, this relentless pursuit can lead to burnout and a disconnect from one’s deeper, personal aspirations.
Value misalignment occurs when the success we chase conflicts with our core beliefs and values.
For instance, a job that offers a high salary but requires unethical practices may conflict with one’s moral principles. This dissonance can lead to internal conflict, where achieving traditional success feels hollow or unfulfilling.
As we step away from these traditional metrics and explore new ways to define success, we open ourselves to a more fulfilling life aligned with our deepest values.
By focusing on personal growth, quality of relationships, impact on others, and self-satisfaction, we can develop a more comprehensive and satisfying measure of success.
This shift not only aligns better with our psychological well-being but also encourages us to lead more authentic and meaningful lives.
Principles of Personal Achievement Without Traditional Results
In reshaping our understanding of success, it’s vital to anchor our metrics in principles that reflect a more holistic and personally satisfying philosophy.
By emphasizing self-reflection, intrinsic motivation, continuous learning, and resilience, we can craft a framework for personal achievement that transcends traditional results.
Let’s delve into each of these core principles:
Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is the cornerstone of personal achievement without traditional results. It involves regularly taking time to look inward and evaluate our experiences, decisions, and the consequences of our actions.
This practice allows us to understand our true motivations, identify areas of improvement, and realign our actions with our deepest values.
It’s about asking ourselves not just “What have I achieved?” but “What have I learned?” and “How have I grown?”
Daniel Goleman, in his work on Emotional Intelligence, emphasizes the critical role of self-awareness, which includes understanding one’s emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, and impacts on others.
Self-reflection is an integral part of developing emotional intelligence, which Goleman argues is essential for personal success beyond traditional achievements.
Intrinsic Motivation
Unlike extrinsic motivation, which is driven by external rewards such as money, fame, or approval, intrinsic motivation is about doing something because it is inherently interesting or enjoyable.
It’s the passion that drives us to pursue our interests and work on projects that we care about deeply, regardless of external rewards.
Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ryan’s Self-Determination Theory (SDT) provides a robust framework for understanding intrinsic motivation. Their research, extensively detailed in works like “Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior,” demonstrates that when we are intrinsically motivated, our work becomes more creative, our engagement deeper, and our satisfaction from accomplishments more genuine.
Continuous Learning
The principle of continuous learning emphasizes the importance of seeing every experience as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Carol S. Dweck’s concept of a “Growth Mindset,” detailed in her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” describes a growth mindset as the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.
This view fosters a love of learning and resilience that are essential for great accomplishment, significantly different from a fixed mindset which might focus solely on inherent talent.
Instead of viewing success as a fixed point to be reached, continuous learning encourages us to see it as an ongoing journey.
This perspective not only enhances our skills and knowledge over time but also makes us more adaptable and better equipped to handle change and challenges, enriching both our personal and professional lives.
Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, learn from failure, and continue to move forward in the face of adversity.
It involves developing a mindset that views challenges as opportunities to improve and grow stronger.
Cultivating resilience is crucial, as it enables us to maintain our drive toward personal achievement, even when external results do not turn out as expected.
Together, these principles form a robust framework for assessing personal achievement beyond traditional metrics.
By focusing on what really matters—our values, our growth, and our satisfaction—we create a more authentic and fulfilling path to success.
This approach not only benefits our personal development but also positively impacts our relationships and communities, fostering a life that is truly successful by our own standards.
Redefining Success at Work
Redefining success is perhaps more evident in the workplace than anywhere else.
As our careers progress and industries evolve, traditional metrics such as job titles and salary increments often fail to capture the full spectrum of professional growth and satisfaction.
Below, we explore four key areas—Quality of Work, Leadership and Collaboration, Adaptability and Resilience, and Skill Development—that are crucial for personal metrics of success, each offering unique insights into how we can thrive in our careers.
Quality of Work
The quality of work is often overshadowed by quantitative outcomes.
However, measuring improvements in quality and creativity can lead to more significant personal satisfaction and innovation.
In his latest book, “Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment without Burnout,” Cal Newport delves deep into the importance of measuring knowledge work not by the volume of tasks completed but by the significance and quality of the output.
Newport advocates for a shift in how we assess productivity, especially in knowledge-intensive and managerial roles where cognitive demands are high.
He emphasizes that the real measure of quality work should be based on the depth of thought and innovation involved, rather than the speed or quantity of tasks accomplished.
This approach encourages a more deliberate and thoughtful work style, which not only leads to higher-quality outcomes but also preserves mental energy and prevents burnout.
By prioritizing deep work sessions that foster intensive focus and problem-solving capabilities, you can create more meaningful, impactful work that truly reflects your expertise and dedication.
To gauge the quality of your work through this lens, consider how often you engage in deep work sessions that allow you to produce high-value output far beyond the norm.
Set clear objectives for these sessions, such as mastering a complex skill or completing a significant portion of challenging work uninterrupted. Regularly reflect on these deep work periods, assessing not only the outcomes but also how your ability to focus and produce at a high level is evolving.
To get you started can use prompting questions like:
- How do I measure the success of a project beyond just finishing it on time?
This question urges you to consider the depth of your engagement, the innovation you brought to the project, and how it has contributed to your long-term professional skills and personal growth goals. It challenges you to redefine what achievement looks like by including qualitative aspects such as the learning acquired and the creative challenges overcome.
To analyze and identify the specific strategies that enhance your focus and drive during demanding projects, consider this question:
- What methods help me stay focused and motivated during challenging tasks, and how can I use these methods more often?
This question encourages a self-aware approach to managing your workload, helping you to consistently apply effective techniques that boost your performance and job satisfaction.
By regularly implementing these proven methods, you can maintain high levels of productivity and engagement, regardless of the task complexity.
Keep a simple journal to track improvements and identify trends in your productivity when engaged in deep work.
Just writing down a few lines can serve as a concrete measure of your professional growth and effectiveness, highlighting how cultivating intense focus leads to substantial increases in quality and innovation in your work.
Leadership and Collaboration
Effective leadership and collaboration are pivotal in both personal and professional settings. To measure your growth in these areas, focus on feedback from peers and mentors regarding your team dynamics and leadership qualities.
Are you more proactive in meetings? How effectively do you manage conflicts or inspire your team?
Be discerning whose feedback to take into consideration though. Focus on feedback from your ‘Square Squad,’ a concept introduced by Brené Brown and popularized in her book “Dare to Lead”. This group comprises those who truly care about you and are committed to providing honest, constructive feedback.
Brown provides instructions on how to put together your Square Squad: “Get a one-inch piece by one-inch piece of paper and write down the names of the people whose opinions matter to you. It needs to be small because it forces you to edit.” Yes-sayers should not make that list, think of people who are capable of providing you with honest, constructive feedback that helps you improve and grow as a leader and manager.”
Keep a record of specific instances where you demonstrated improved leadership or collaboration skills. This not only helps in recognizing your growth but also in identifying areas needing attention.
Adaptability and Resilience
Adaptability and resilience are about how well you handle changes and “bounce forward” from setbacks.
To track progress in these areas, maintain a journal of the challenges you face and how you respond to them.
Ask yourself:
- How can I better track and reflect on how I solve problems, and what does this tell me about my growth at work?
Note any new strategies you employ and how they affect the outcomes. Reflect on whether you’re becoming quicker at problem-solving or more composed in stressful situations.
Celebrating small victories in resilience builds confidence and fortifies your ability to handle future challenges.
Skill Development
Skill development is a continuous process, vital for both personal satisfaction and professional advancement.
Unlike traditional metrics that focus on the end result, track your learning process.
Set learning goals, such as mastering a new software tool or learning a new language. Use self-assessment tools to periodically review your progress. Engage in regular skill-upgrade activities and reflect on how these skills have enhanced your work or personal projects.
Measuring Life Satisfaction Outside of Work
We often place significant emphasis on our performance at work or how well our businesses are running, but how frequently do we pause to assess our satisfaction with our personal lives?
While we may generally know whether we are happy or not, it’s less common for us to deeply explore the reasons behind our feelings.
Without understanding what contributes to our happiness or dissatisfaction, we risk living life on autopilot. Recognizing the factors that influence our emotional and psychological well-being allows us to take proactive steps towards personal fulfillment.
When we know where we stand and what truly matters to us, we can make informed decisions that enhance our overall quality of life, aligning our actions with our deeper values and goals. This knowledge is not just empowering—it’s essential for living a life that is not only successful but also truly satisfying.
Here are some key areas that can help us enhance our overall quality of life: Relationship Health, Physical Health, Well-Being and Life Satisfaction Index, along with our Emotional Resilience Score, are good starting points. Increasing our awareness of how we are doing in each of these not only aids in identifying areas where we can improve but also helps us to maintain a balanced and fulfilling life outside of our professional commitments.
Relationship Health
The quality of our relationships has a profound impact on our overall life satisfaction. Regularly assessing the health of our connections with family, friends, and significant others can provide key insights into our social well-being. Consider setting periodic check-ins to discuss and evaluate the dynamics of these relationships, focusing on communication, mutual support, and satisfaction within each relationship. Tools like relationship satisfaction scales or guided questionnaires can help quantify these aspects and track changes over time.
Physical Health
Maintaining physical health is crucial for overall life quality. Beyond basic fitness, it involves regular medical check-ups, nutritional assessments, and sleep quality evaluations. Tracking exercise routines, diet quality, and sleep patterns using apps or journals can provide actionable data that influences physical well-being. Setting realistic health goals and reviewing them regularly helps in maintaining a balance that supports other areas of life satisfaction.
Well-Being and Life Satisfaction Index
Creating a personal well-being and life satisfaction index involves identifying and regularly measuring factors that contribute to your overall happiness and quality of life. This might include elements like leisure activities, personal development, environmental comfort, and financial security. Rating these factors on a regular basis allows for adjustments in lifestyle to enhance areas that may be lacking, leading to improved life satisfaction.
Emotional Resilience Score
Emotional resilience—the ability to bounce back from life’s challenges—is a critical measure of personal well-being. Developing an emotional resilience score might involve reflecting on how you cope with stress, change, and adversity. Keeping a resilience journal where you record and reflect on stressful events, your reactions, and the outcomes can help strengthen your emotional responses and provide a clear measure of your progress in developing resilience.
Spiritual or Philosophical Alignment Check
For many, personal fulfillment is deeply connected to spiritual or philosophical beliefs. Regularly assessing how well your daily practices and decisions align with these beliefs can enhance life satisfaction. This might involve participation in spiritual or community activities, meditation, or reflective practices that resonate with your core values. Tracking your engagement and satisfaction in these areas can guide you in living a life that is not only successful but also meaningful and aligned with your deeper convictions.
By focusing on these diverse yet interconnected aspects of life outside work, you can develop a comprehensive view of your personal satisfaction and well-being. This holistic approach ensures that the pursuit of success is balanced and enriched by genuine fulfillment in all facets of life.
Rethinking the Tape Measure of Success
As we navigate the complexities of modern life, the allure of traditional success metrics can often cloud our judgment. High-powered job titles, hefty salary packages, and public accolades are frequently seen as hallmarks of a successful life. Yet, these benchmarks rarely guarantee personal fulfillment or happiness. How often do we stop to consider whether these conventional indicators truly align with what makes us content or fulfilled?
In redefining success, it is essential to delve deeper into the elements that genuinely contribute to our well-being. The key is not merely to achieve but to understand the essence of our achievements and their impact on our lives. How satisfying are our relationships? Are we nurturing our health, both mental and physical? Do our daily activities resonate with our deepest values?
These questions are not just reflective prompts but are fundamental in steering our lives towards genuine fulfillment. Each of us carries a unique set of values and aspirations that traditional success markers may not fully encapsulate. Recognizing and honoring this uniqueness can shift our trajectory from a pursuit of externally defined goals to a more meaningful exploration of personal satisfaction.
This shift in perspective is akin to playing the infinite game, where the objective is not to win against others but to sustain your growth and fulfillment over a lifetime, adapting as your circumstances and aspirations evolve.
Let’s challenge ourselves to think beyond the conventional. Are we pursuing goals that are truly ours, or are we chasing shadows cast by societal expectations? How can recalibrating our personal metrics of success lead to a richer, more rewarding life?
As you consider these questions, remember that the journey to redefine success is ongoing. Each day offers a new opportunity to align our actions with our personal definition of fulfillment. What steps will you take today to ensure that your measures of success are truly your own?
Paul Strobl, MBA, CPC
Owner of Confide Coaching, LLC
Paul is a Master Life Coach for individuals, executives and business owners. Originally from Houston, Texas, he has been location independent for most of his adult life. He currently resides in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria near the Greek border with his brilliant wife, 13-year-old stepson (officially adopted in 2021!) and a Posavac Hound rescue.
References
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books, 2005.
Deci, Edward L., and Ryan, Richard M. Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. Plenum Press, 1985.
Dweck, Carol S. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books, 2007.
Newport, Cal. Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment without Burnout. Portfolio, 2024.
Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House, 2018.
