Suicide is grossly misunderstood. After losing my brother in 2005, I took to social media on a bit of rant!
The Facebook Post About My Brother’s Suicide:
If you were in a burning building, would you stay inside and burn, or jump out the window? Ten years ago, my brother took his own life. He did not see any other way than suicide.
With no other choice but to burn to death, what would you do?
Many people love to judge and criticize what they don’t understand. It’s this very lack of compassion and lack of empathy that serves as hard evidence for someone who is suffering that there IS no way out, that there IS something wrong with them. That there IS something inherently and permanently flawed about them.
The irony of all of this is that while we tend to focus on what people are physically capable of doing or not doing, or of living up to their potential, we ignore the emotional limitations. And emotional limitations are the things that have held back every single one of us from living our lives to the fullest.
Fear is Hard
I know this is true for me. Fear can be a bitch.
Regret. Approval-seeking. Fear of failure. Fear of uncertainty. Self-doubt. Judgment. These are the bars that incarcerate us, that keep us keeping up with the Jones’. “I’ll be happy when…” is bullshit. And you know it.
When we judge, it’s an indicator that we have work to do — on ourselves.
When we judge, it’s an indicator that we have work to do — on ourselves.
Something to Ponder
So back to the original question. The burning building analogy shows empathy for the emotional pain of someone with suicidal thoughts. Most of us have no judgment of someone who jumps out of a window of a burning building and you probably think you’d do the same.
So why is it different with suicide? Why is emotional pain so depreciated and physical pain creates such a response of empathy? Is there really a difference?
I respect my brother’s choice. I don’t like it, and I don’t agree with it, and I wish he were still here. But judge him for it? How would that help?
p.s. – if you’re having suicidal thoughts, there’s nothing wrong with you and there are resources to help. Check out the Suicide Prevention Resource Center for more information.
Paul Strobl, MBA, CPC
Owner of Confide Coaching, LLC
Paul is a Master Life Coach for GenX and GenY executives and business owners. Originally from Houston, Texas, he has been location independent for most of his adult life. He currently resides in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria near the Greek border with his brilliant wife, 13-year-old stepson (officially adopted in 2021!) and a Posavac Hound rescue.
