Rejection hurts. Dating is never a steady stream good impressions and lasting relationships. In fact, one of the most common things that you will face is rejection. If you’re a man struggling to handle romantic rejection, this post will help make it less painful. Continue reading to learn how you can deal with rejection in a healthier way.
Everyone faces rejection at some point in their lives; it’s just a part of dating. However, rejection can also make you feel lonely or like an outcast. If you’re spiraling down the rabbit hole and can’t seem to cope, read on.
What is Rejection?
Rejection can make you feel awful and significantly affect your self-worth. You may be struggling if you’ve become more self-critical after being rejected by someone.
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In simple words, rejection refers to someone not willing to accept or approve of you. It involves losing something or someone that you previously had or wanted in the future. Rejection often leaves people feeling unwanted and unworthy.
Rejection hits everyone differently, and depending on your mental state, you could have a tough time. However, finding it hard to deal with rejection is often more about how you process your perceived loss.
How to Deal with Romantic Rejection
You may not be as sad about losing a potential romantic partner. But, you don’t like how being rejected is making you feel unworthy and not enough for the other person.
If you’re struggling with rejection from your crush or an ex-spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend, the following tips will help.
Accept Your Emotions
Accepting the negative emotions that you’re feeling is an essential step in recovering from rejection. So, acknowledge your feelings in the immediate aftermath and grieve if you need to.
Most men bury their feelings as a short-term fix to avoid having to deal with their negative emotions. However, suppressing your feelings about rejection is not healthy in the long run.
Remember that feelings of sadness, disappointment, and even anger are normal when you’re facing rejection. Ignoring them can adversely affect your emotional, physical and mental health.
So, allow yourself to feel the sadness that comes with rejection. If your emotions are overwhelming you, you can try crying to get those negative emotions and thoughts out of your system.
If you’re finding it hard to accept your emotions and process your feelings, going to therapy, journaling about your feelings and practicing a self-care routine can help.
Pay Attention to Your Inner Critic
You’re not feeling your best, and that’s normal after getting rejected. But, most people don’t realize the role of their inner critic and how it actively makes you feel worse. Paying attention to, and being the observer of your thoughts can give you the awareness to flip the script.
Your inner critical voice can amplify these negative experiences like rejection to make you feel inadequate and unworthy. Similarly, positive thoughts nurture your brain, and make you feel good and worthy.
Therefore, shifting your perspective, replacing your thoughts, and being kinder to yourself is essential. You can only stop your inner critic from taking over when you learn to identify and replace it. So, become more self-aware and identify each time your inner critical voice pops into your head.
Once you learn to identify them, start replacing absolutist negative thoughts like “no one will ever love you” with positive ones such as “it was just one bad experience.”
Avoid Putting the Blame on Yourself
When someone rejects you, it is natural that want to know why. Although you want an answer, the reasons for rejection are not always clear. Not to mention, the other person does not owe you an explanation either.
Usually, when you don’t have a clear answer for the why, you might start blaming yourself or beating yourself up. Many assume that the reason they face rejection is because there is something wrong with them. But, there is little truth, and it is hardly ever the case. Most of the time, rejection has little to do with the person being rejected or anyone.
It is helpful to present yourself nicely, but that does not mean you didn’t do something correctly. Most men start believing that they’re unworthy, unlovable, ugly, etc., stopping them from pursuing romantic relationships.
Rejection rarely has anything to do with you, but has more to do with what the other individual desires. For example, they might not have romantic feelings for you. Understand that it is simply out of your control and the other person wants something else.
Bottom Line
Rejection brings awful feelings that can badly affect your mental and emotional health. Usually, men experience extreme loneliness and low self-esteem.
If you’re struggling to overcome rejection, start with accepting your emotions and grieving. Then, identify your inner critic and stop it from taking over.
Lastly, you need to understand that rejection has more to do about the other person and less with you.
Paul Strobl, MBA, CPC
Owner of Confide Coaching, LLC
Paul is a Master Life Coach for GenX and GenY executives and business owners. Originally from Houston, Texas, he has been location independent for most of his adult life. He currently resides in the Rhodope Mountains of Bulgaria near the Greek border with his brilliant wife, 13-year-old stepson (officially adopted in 2021!) and a Posavac Hound rescue.
