How Perfectionism is Holding You Back

Perfectionism is often hailed as a positive trait, and it is, at first glance. Obviously, it makes sense to hold yourself to high personal and professional ideals if you’re to be successful.

But most people lean hard into these standards, extolling perfectionism as a virtue. And this is where trouble sets in. If you don’t balance your standards and expectations with an appreciation for mistakes, you’re not striving for excellence – you’re self-sabotaging.

The pursuit of perfection, holding yourself and others to unrealistic or idealistic standards, is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it means you have high expectations of yourself. But, on the other, it can be paralyzing.

Perfectionism and Judgment

Perfectionism presents itself in many ways. Some perfectionists tend to hone in on faults and mistakes, while others are desperately afraid of failure. Instead of being present on the task at hand, perfectionists focus on results to the point of obstinance, and having a complete lack of intellectual humility.

If you find yourself obsessively focusing on details or being extremely critical of yourself, you might be a perfectionist.

Ultimately, perfectionism is about judgment. You judge yourself by the standards you place upon yourself. And yes, societal expectations have a great deal of influence on this as well.

Perfectionists constantly worry about being “good” enough. But you can never be good enough when you hold yourself to an ideal unachievable standard.  You get to live out a drama of your own limiting beliefs.

Sadly, the constant focus on being perfect limits your potential.

Perfectionism is Limiting

Perfectionists experience profound shame, as opposed to guilt when they trip up. Whereas guilt suggests that you made a mistake, feelings of shame are associated with a character flaw. (“I did something dumb” vs. “I am an idiot”) Such tunnel vision can stunt your ability to move forward in your career or personal life.

Here are some of the ways perfectionism is holding you back.

1. You’re never satisfied with your accomplishments

Perfectionism is an “all or nothing” mindset. It’s a tendency to think that anything short of perfect is a failure. See, there’s a world of difference between striving for excellence and striving for perfection.

Excellence is attainable and can be a motivating factor. A job well done feels good. Unfortunately, this is not a feeling perfectionists can revel in because nothing is ever good enough.

Nothing can be perfect. No matter how great something is, it will always be imperfect and flawed in some way.

2. You procrastinate all the time (because it’s not “perfect”)

Everyone, at one point or another, has experienced nagging self-doubt. The irony is that your fears of not being good enough tend to become self-fulfilling prophecies.

There’s an intrinsic connection between perfectionism and fear of failure. This combination often leads to procrastination because even the easiest of tasks can be intimidating if they must be carried out to perfection.

The more anxiety you feel about failing to reach your goals, the less likely you are to even get started. Anyone who has experienced this kind of emotional paralysis can tell you that it’s an entirely irrational reaction – after all, how can you be successful if you don’t put in the work. But then again, it’s an incredibly difficult fear to push past.

3. You don’t know when to pivot

Perfectionists operate from an ideal point of view. They have a goal that they must accomplish no matter the circumstances. Such a mindset can be extremely limiting as you can lose sight of opportunities along the way.

When things are not going your way, ask yourself what you can learn from the situation instead of doubling down. Getting bogged down by details will have you miss the forest for the trees. To be successful, you must always be ready to switch gears and pivot in a better direction.

4. You’re difficult to work (or live) with

As a perfectionist, you don’t just hold yourself to unobtainable standards; you also project the same expectations to those around you. If you’re critical of yourself, you’re critical of others. In reality, holding other people to extremely high standards doesn’t always work out. It makes others uncomfortable and makes you difficult to be around.

No human is an island, least of all in the workplace.  When you relax and relinquish some control, you’ll find that friends, colleagues, and family are willing to work and collaborate with you.

5. You don’t try out new things

Perfectionists are preoccupied with getting it right and getting it right the first time. There’s no room for errors and mistakes. As a result, you may end up passing on opportunities and experiences that might have turned out great for you.

In life, you have more than one chance to get it right. There’s always room to learn, grow and perform better.

The Virtue of Failing: How to overcome perfectionism and thrive

Perfectionism can leave you burnt out, over-burdened, and stressed. It’s no wonder that perfectionism is strongly linked to anxiety, depression, and even eating disorders. Trying to be perfect can bog you down, plus it takes a toll on your mental and physical wellbeing.

It’s important to practice self-compassion. Remember, all great things began imperfect, and they can all be improved upon.

The good news is: perfectionism is a mindset, and like all mindsets, it can be changed.

​

p.s. – Do you struggle with Perfectionism? I help people like you overcome perfectionism and thrive personally and professionally. Book a free trial session and see if we’re a fit for working together.